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home : opinions :   April 24, 2015

4/4/2013 9:16:00 AM
Column: I do



Cynthia Rolando
Lifestyle Editor




I used to say to people, “I’m the least prejudiced person I know.” It always was a joke. Kind of like saying “I’m the smartest person you know.” All in fun, even if in my case it’s true.
But I’m often a little confused by people who are opposed to same sex marriage or “gay marriage.” Shouldn’t we all be happy that we are getting married?
But seriously, I’ve never heard my marriage referred to as heterosexual marriage. Dan and I simply are a married couple.
Because of the upcoming Supreme Court ruling, some have said that the ability to procreate should be considered as to what is marriage.
Really? Wouldn’t that require couples to undergo testing to determine if they are able to have children? Many couples express a desire not to have children or may marry later in life and no longer have the ability to procreate.
All couples should be able to have the rights and obligations of marriage. Not just for health or material benefits, but for simple human benefits. Imagine if your partner was in the hospital and you may not be let in or allowed to hear of their condition because you are not “family.” This has happened and it’s ludicrous.
 Facebook the past few weeks has seen a change in many profile pictures. One group has asked us to post a square red image in support of gay marriage and you will see a lot of these squares.
But now that you know my position, I want you to think about the labels we give people. I don’t have solutions to some I think are bad, but it can give us something to think about.
Where did Gay come from? Are same sex couples happier than the rest of us? I doubt it for they are the same temperamentally as anyone else.
For as long as I remember, Caucasians have been lumped together. Whether we are German, English, French, Dutch, Scottish, Italian and too many others to name, we are all Caucasian. Does it matter that we have different skin tones? I think I’ve told you before that I have been checking “other” on forms and write in German-American. Nobody’s yelled at me yet.
And now the term Hispanic confuses me. Does this refer to people who live in countries south of the U.S. border? Are we no longer Mexican, Guatemalan, Brazilian, Puerto Rican or many others?
And where do people from Spain fall?
Maybe they are Mediterranean. Is that where I should put my Italian/Polish husband? His skin certainly is much darker than mine.
And then we have people with dark skin tones. Once called very uncomplimentary names, black (which honestly, I thought acceptable) is no longer politically correct and we should use African-American. But where does that leave Jamaicans, Bermudians or any of the native island people. Are Egyptians in this category?
It’s all too confusing.
Then I thought about Asian people. Do the Japanese, Chinese, Pilipino, Balinese and others think of themselves as Asian? I don’t know what I was talking about with my daughter Mel, but I used the word “Oriental.” She said, “Mom, how ‘70s is that?” That’s the way the mind works.
My head is starting to spin as I don’t know where to put Indians (not Native Americans). What about people from the Middle East? I forgot the former Soviet Republic countries.
Maybe we should forget all the labels and treat everyone the way we would like to be treated and talked about. Maybe if you knew all my little secrets, you might label me different.
But right now you still can think of me as the kind and intelligent, beautiful person you know me to be.
And I support the marriage of any two people who love each other.

Cynthia Rolando can be reached at (815) 220-6934 or lifestyle@newstrib.com.












Reader Comments

Posted: Friday, April 5, 2013
Article comment by: MotherEarthSpeaks

Great discussion of "Labels" that separate instead of unite.

Unity, peace, love and oneness feel so much better for many of us.
Thank you.

Keeping a little humor on such a serious subject is wise, and a more detached, objective point of prose is welcome!

Thanks, Linda, for "an alternate point of view."
And even the commentators are more civil. The NT editorial does listen...

Brava and Bravo to all.


Posted: Friday, April 5, 2013
Article comment by: ronwood61

Kepha, your stone age opinions are the best medicine for the other side. Please keep them coming.

Posted: Friday, April 5, 2013
Article comment by: METALWORKER

Thank you Kepha, thank.
You have made our arguement for us.
You agree that an abnormality in a persons sexual organ can and does happen.
If that abnormality does happen, can you with any scientific certainty tell us what is an acceptable abnormality and what is not.
The fact that you have done that is a start, but that, in my opinion is not the issue.
That issue is a one of a gavernment definition of who can recieve defined bennifits.
If that law were changed to "TWO" people living scientific certainty in a commited relationship the following shall apply or something like that for legal reasons concerning property rights and visetation and such and leave the meaning of a church wedding to each religon, why that might solve some problems.
Think about that when you try to pit stone age believes against modern facts.
Things must change to fit the now.
The more we learn, the more we know and the more we change.
Will those changes bring abuse, of course, that to is nature, but that will not prevent change. So grow we must but that growth must be iwith love and not stuberness.



Posted: Thursday, April 4, 2013
Article comment by: Kepha

Any two? Me and a minor of the opposite sex? Me and my sibling? And why limit it to two? I really love Sara and Tim so...

The ability to procreate is a justifiable litmus test. A heterosexual couple that finds itself sterile is so because of an abnormality. The same sex couple is sterile normally by definition.

You might be smart and unbiased but on this issue you are wrong.


Posted: Thursday, April 4, 2013
Article comment by: METALWORKER

Thank you Cynthia!.
At last, some one at the News Trib who is honest and straight forward about their feelings about this thing called mariage.
Some one who truthfuly can and doese say that marriage is a union of the minds of two persons who have the best intrest of the one they love as a goal..
Great work girl, You go!
News Trib, this piece should go national.



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