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home : opinions : opinions   May 27, 2016

3/23/2013 2:31:00 PM
Letters to the editor: My lazy gun didn't even load itself

Guns … really …
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Marlin .30-.30 right in the doorway. I gave it five shells and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.
­While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house.
After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong and it’s the misuse of guns by people that kills people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world.
Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
This is so true. If people really think about it, anything is a weapon. They need to stop harping on the guns and worry about other things going on in this country.
Bob and Pat Taylor,

Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, March 25, 2013
Article comment by: METALWORKER

Wow! Wow! How does any one top this one.
So you can run faster than a .223 round fired from a AR15.
You are right in one thing though, with out some ones finger putting pushing that trigger back, a gun can never fire. So it goes with out saying that if a human never put his or her finger on a trigger and pulled back on it, no one would ever be shot,
So we do agree on that one thing. A gun with out a human is just a gun and a human with out a gun can never shoot any one. Hell, makes sense to me. One can't get rid of humans so getting rid of guns will solve the problem.
I am glad you came up with that, I wouldn't have. Thank You!

Posted: Monday, March 25, 2013
Article comment by: CRobinson

Any killing is horrific. But the Open Forum writer hit home with his points of the gun and spoon. No gun ever shoots by itself and the spoon comment hits home with all who believe we don't need government to tell everyone what to eat.

Posted: Monday, March 25, 2013
Article comment by: ronwood61

You Taylors obviously did not have a child at the Sandy Hook gradeschool. You seem to be trying to put sarcasm in your letter so I will also attempt this by saying that the AR15 objected to putting all those rounds into 6 & 7 year olds but the human holding it would not listen. But the AR15 agrees with its' AR15 brother used in Aurora that they remain free to be owned by anyone who will treat them nicely.

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